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moment, he said,  You're resentful, because you think I didn't trust you with the truth. But there's more to
your resentment than that."
"Isn't that enough? demanded Birrel.  To send a man on a job and not even tell him where he stands?"
"No, there's more to it than that, said Ferdias, eyeing him.  You wouldn't blow up like this for that alone.
You've worked up an emotion about the old home world, Earth. Haven't you?"
"Oh, hell, said Birrel,  if you think I care a curse one way or another about this world "
'Who's doing the lying now? asked Ferdias, in a voice like a whiplash.
Birrel started to answer, then did not. What Ferdias said was ridiculous, and yet ... Was it possible for a
man to be snared by nostalgia? Could such trivial things as trees and fireflies, birds and sunsets, a forlorn,
old farm under the moon, could things like that reach and touch something in the subconscious of a man,
something which he had inherited, but never knew he had? No, it was foolish to suppose so, Ferdias was
just talking, and talk was not enough this time. He said, with an edge to his voice,  I'm sure of one thing. I
will not give the Fifth any orders to attack or intimidate the UW fleet or Earth."
Ferdias looked him in the eye. He said flatly,  As of this moment, you're relieved of all command.
Brescnik will take over."
And the blow had fallen and to his secret amazement, Birrel did not seem to feel it at all, his hard
resentment and resolve were quite unchanged. He said calmly,  Brescnik's a good officer. He'll obey
your orders. But will the Fifth obey him, if he orders potential action against Earth?"
"They're not all as sentimental as you, Jay, said Ferdias.  They'll obey."
"Will they? Why don't you ask Joe Garstang?"
Ferdias frowned at him. Then he went to the door and called Garstang in.
Garstang listened and his face, respectful and awed at first, became increasingly unhappy.
"Well? said Ferdias impatiently.
"I don't know, said Garstang painfully.  Of course, nobody's going to disobey direct orders. But still "
"But still what? demanded Ferdias.
With an heroic effort, Garstang looked into his eyes.  The UW fleet helped us clobber Solleremos, you
know. They fought beside us and they more than pulled their weight. Nobody would like turning against
them though of course, orders. His rambling stopped, and he looked almost desperately around and
then added,  Too, the big part of us came from here, I mean away back. Nearly everybody's got some
sentiment "
"Give me a direct answer, Ferdias ordered curtly.  Would the ranks of the Fifth carry out such orders, if
they were necessary?"
Garstang, scared and sweating, looked at him. He said, in a tone little above a whisper,  Honest to God,
sir, I don't know."
Ferdias looked at him for a moment, in silence. Then he went over and looked out the window into the
darkness, saying nothing, His face was the face of a man who had fought his way through many foes to
the moment of victory, only to find his sword breaking in his hand.
He said after a while, without turning,  I should have foreseen this. Earth is important in galactic politics,
because of the psychological influence it has on men's minds. But I forgot that the thing would cut both
ways, would affect my own men all the time they were here "
He was silent, as though the irony of that was too bitter on his lips to utter. Birrel and Garstang looked at
him and said nothing. Finally, he turned back toward them. His face was bard, dark and stony, but his
voice was composed.
"Very well. The Fifth will take part in the commemoration and then return to Vega as scheduled. You'll
forget that I was here."
For just one moment, his control slipped again and his voice flared.  There'll be another time, and I'll take
care... Then he stopped, and turned toward the door.
Birrel said,  I'll turn over command to Brescnik tonight."
Ferdias stopped at the door, and looked back at Birrel. He was an ambitious man, a ruthless man, and
an unscrupulous man. But he was not a small man.
"You served me long and faithfully, Jay, though you did go weak on me in the end. You'll return to Vega
in command, and will resign two weeks later, with full honors. I think that pays any debt I owe you."
Birrel felt so strong a tug of old loyalty, old comradeship, that he almost wanted to deny all that he had
said, to make it between himself and Ferdias as it had always been. He could not quite do it. But he held
out his hand.
Ferdias struck his hand away.  The hell with that, he said, and went out into the darkness.
Garstang, stricken, came to life and tumbled after him.
Birrel stood still. It seemed to him that at this moment he should be feeling crushed, shattered, by the
impulsive jettisoning of his life, his career, almost everything that had meant much to him. Yet he did not
feel so.
He looked around at the old room and the things in it and at the windows, outside which the trees bent
and whispered. What had he to do with this place? How could he have been such a fool? And even
more bewildering, he did not feel like a fool.
Then, as he heard Lyllin come in from the porch, he turned slowly to meet her gaze. He could not read
her eyes.
"You heard? he said.
Lyllin nodded.  I listened."
He thought of the villa on Vega Four, of Lyllin's friends and family there, of the blue sun going down
behind the mountains. He said miserably,  All right, go ahead and say it."
"What have I to say? Lyllin said.  Except that you did right. And that you know you did."
"But to throw everything away "
"If you'd done what Ferdias wanted you to do, you might have thrown me away, she said.  Arid don't
look so worried. You would have retired from space duty in a few years anyway, and I don't think a
desk would suit you.
She looked musingly around the room.  I think we'll like it here, when we come back. We could make
some changes in the house. And if you don't like farming, I'm sure the UW would be glad to have you."
He grasped her wrist.  Lyllin, understand this: I'm not taking you away from your own world." [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]